Boom Boom

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Shots1954
Posts: 903
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon Sep 14, 2020 9:06 am

My wife says I'm a right old salt

It's always nice to receive a condiment

Shots1954
Posts: 903
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon Sep 14, 2020 9:35 am

I was waiting to pick up my luggage at the airport and discovered that everybody’s bags were damaged
Mine was really bad
In fact it was the worst case scenario...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 14, 2020 12:31 pm

What did the fisherman say to the magician ?
Pick a cod any cod

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 14, 2020 12:32 pm

Why is Cinderella so bad at football ?
Because she keeps running away from the ball.

Calling the shots
Posts: 82
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:46 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Calling the shots » Mon Sep 14, 2020 5:34 pm

An english cat and a french cat are having a race in a swimming pool.

The English cat is called one two three.
And the French cat is called un deux trois.

Who wins?
The English cat won because the un deux trois cat sank.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 14, 2020 10:22 pm

I just found my first grey pubic hair!

Normally these things don’t bother me but it was in my Big Mac...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 14, 2020 10:23 pm

Calling the shots wrote:
Mon Sep 14, 2020 5:34 pm
An english cat and a french cat are having a race in a swimming pool.

The English cat is called one two three.
And the French cat is called un deux trois.

Who wins?
The English cat won because the un deux trois cat sank.
Oldie but Goldie :lol:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 14, 2020 10:24 pm

Today’s Maths problem:

If George is 68 and his girlfriend is 22, how much money does George have?

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 14, 2020 10:24 pm

How old is All-Bran?

I’m just looking for the rough age.

80fc
Posts: 384
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by 80fc » Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:01 pm

Just to wind the missus up I swap the wrappers on her chocolates. It really annoys her. Yesterday she got her Snickers in a Twix

80fc
Posts: 384
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by 80fc » Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:10 pm

My local cafe has started selling golf equipment. I bought two tees and a sand wedge

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:58 pm

The clocks go back soon which is a worry as I've forgotten where I got mine from

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:01 pm

Teacher - Name something beginning with E that you aren't very good at ?
Child- Spelling.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:03 pm

Never date a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4588
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:05 pm

Hedgehogs – why can't they just share the hedge?


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