Boom Boom

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Fuggletim
Posts: 591
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Feb 22, 2021 6:37 pm

I asked my daughter if she could get me my newspaper from the kitchen. She told me that newspapers were so 20th Century and I should start using IT.

Although I killed the fly, I don't think the iPad will work again.

bordon shot
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:13 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by bordon shot » Tue Feb 23, 2021 11:11 pm

Just back from the doctors. "What's wrong", she said,
I have a problem with pain down below I said,
"Well drop your pants" she said, she had a good old feel of my privates and then said "There's nothing wrong there",
I said I know i think,I've got an ingrowing toenail".

Fuggletim
Posts: 591
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Tue Feb 23, 2021 11:26 pm

I found a mole a while back. It wasn't looking too good, and after a week it was starting to look worse and was a bit odorous. A week later on, it had shrivelled, but had started looking quite crusty. As such I thought I had better get it looked at.

The Vet told me that he thought it had been dead for about 2 x weeks by the time I took it there.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3539
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Feb 24, 2021 2:45 pm

This morning I stood naked looking in the Mirror and I thought to myself;

"Any moment now I'm going to get kicked out of this newsagents..."

Richard Petty
Posts: 625
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Feb 24, 2021 3:05 pm

The thing I don't like about Shopping centres is that when you've seen one you've seen a mall

Richard Petty
Posts: 625
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Feb 24, 2021 3:14 pm

I got stopped in the street by a group of robed men chanting who said they worshiped healthy bacteria, I told them "Sorry I am not interested in Yakult

Richard Petty
Posts: 625
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:12 pm

Not a joke as such but very funny and this seemed the best thread for it

Simon Evans On Football - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up7L0xvR45o&t=45s

Richard Petty
Posts: 625
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:18 pm

Two blokes standing at a bar talking and one says to the other "I got a poodle for my wife the other day" and the other bloke says "I wish I could make an exchange like that".

Fuggletim
Posts: 591
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Feb 25, 2021 7:12 pm

I was thinking about killing off a few characters in the book I am writing. It will be an interesting autobiography I think!

Richard Petty
Posts: 625
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Feb 26, 2021 1:49 pm

I popped into B&Q this morning and bought a tin of Fly Spray, when I got to the checkout I asked the assistant "Is this any good for Wasps". "No" he replied, "it kills them"

Richard Petty
Posts: 625
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Feb 26, 2021 1:53 pm

6 Months ago my doctor told me I was going deaf, I haven't heard from him since


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