Boom Boom

Post Reply
Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Fri Nov 27, 2020 6:26 pm

My mate plays in a brass band.

He thinks he's the greatest musician!

He's always blowing his own trumpet.......

Fuggletim
Posts: 668
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Nov 28, 2020 7:32 pm

I went to a post lockdown wedding! Even the cake was in tiers!

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Nov 28, 2020 8:32 pm

Every week I send a letter to my friend who's an Italian chef.

We're penne pals.....

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Nov 28, 2020 8:34 pm

Did you hear about the crab who went to a nightclub ? He pulled a muscle (mussel) ........

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Nov 28, 2020 8:53 pm

How many tickles does an octopus like?
Ten tickles........

Fuggletim
Posts: 668
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Nov 28, 2020 10:40 pm

I worked as a waiter in a Beefeater once. On my first day the Manager asked me to clear a table. It was a good 100 x yard run, but I did it!

WTF
Posts: 771
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:04 am

Why do they make a packet containing scissors so difficult to get into that you need scissors to open it !!

WTF
Posts: 771
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:05 am

To get to the Hotel California do I take the stairway to heaven or the highway to hell?

WTF
Posts: 771
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:05 am

I took my dog to the vets the other day.

The vet picked him up, looked at him and said, "He's got a dodgy eye, a wonky leg and his tail wags up and down, I'm afraid I'm going to have to put him down."

I said "Why, is it serious?"

He said, "No, he's too heavy."........

WTF
Posts: 771
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:06 am

Not looking where I was going, I drove into the back of the car in front of me. He stopped, I stopped and he walked back to my car. He was so short, only about 3 feet high. He gave me a glaring look and said "I'm not happy". I replied "So which one are you then?"

WTF
Posts: 771
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:07 am

6 pall bearers we’re walking around with a coffin for nearly an hour. I am sure they have lost the plot!

WTF
Posts: 771
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:08 am

You must see the new film about the history of Rolex. It's a great watch!!

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:08 pm

My neighbour started blasting lionel richie music. It would of been alright except it was All Night Long....

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:09 pm

Two candles on a table.. One said to the other "Got any plans for the day?"... The other replied " Yes. Thought about going out tonight"

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:10 pm

What did the shy pebble say to the other pebble? " I wish I was a little boulder"!


Post Reply