Boom Boom
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Boom Boom
OK , I was told recently that telling jokes is not a strong point of mine...So have this -
Leo, Boris, Trump, Pope Francis & Mary a ten year old Irish girl were on a flight with just 4 parachutes . As the plane went down they were short one parachute, they agreed Leo should go first when he said ‘I need to sort out the corona virus in Ireland,I need one ‘ & off he went, Boris was next and said ‘Im the smartest man in England, I simply cannot die, I have to survive’, and out he jumped with a parachute, next was Trump and he said ‘I’m need to keep America great and sort out this corona virus’ and out he jumped.. one parachute left, Pope Francis said , little Mary you take it, I have lived a good life, you are young with your whole life ahead of you... take it. Mary replied.. it’s ok Francis, there’s two parachutes left, the smartest man in England took my school bag!!
I know it’s not an improvement, but let’s keep it going during the gloom.
Leo, Boris, Trump, Pope Francis & Mary a ten year old Irish girl were on a flight with just 4 parachutes . As the plane went down they were short one parachute, they agreed Leo should go first when he said ‘I need to sort out the corona virus in Ireland,I need one ‘ & off he went, Boris was next and said ‘Im the smartest man in England, I simply cannot die, I have to survive’, and out he jumped with a parachute, next was Trump and he said ‘I’m need to keep America great and sort out this corona virus’ and out he jumped.. one parachute left, Pope Francis said , little Mary you take it, I have lived a good life, you are young with your whole life ahead of you... take it. Mary replied.. it’s ok Francis, there’s two parachutes left, the smartest man in England took my school bag!!
I know it’s not an improvement, but let’s keep it going during the gloom.

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Re: Boom Boom
"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
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- Location: Oklahoma USA
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Re: Boom Boom
I've got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing - serves him right.
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Got millions like this
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Got millions like this

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- Location: Herne Bay, Kent
Re: Boom Boom
probably best you keep them Jimbo and probably quite a few people know where you live..............
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Re: Boom Boom
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.
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I've moved Bill
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I've moved Bill
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Re: Boom Boom
A man got shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.
Surgeons say he's now fully recovered.
Surgeons say he's now fully recovered.
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Re: Boom Boom
A court case happened recently with 2 lads accused of stealing Car Batteries and Fireworks.
After hearing all the evidence the Judge charged one and let the other one off.
I’m here all week....or at least I hope I am
After hearing all the evidence the Judge charged one and let the other one off.

I’m here all week....or at least I hope I am

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Re: Boom Boom
Mr P, I can almost sense you chomping at the bit. 

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Re: Boom Boom
I ran out of toilet paper this morning and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough. 

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Re: Boom Boom
Did The Sun shine out of it?bordon shot wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:05 pmI ran out of toilet paper this morning and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.![]()

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Re: Boom Boom
A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed as jump leads
The bouncer on the door,says I’ll let you in..but don’t start anything
The bouncer on the door,says I’ll let you in..but don’t start anything
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Re: Boom Boom
I learnt to play the Violin when I was young, to emulate my dad, he was always on the fiddle.
Inflated ego, balloon with your name on it.
I did a pirouette after my neighbour repaired my car. "One good turn deserves another".
Should I diet? There's food for thought.
I have a friend who through ill health was advised to only do light work. He now repairs Neon signs.
"That's enough groaning for now".
Inflated ego, balloon with your name on it.
I did a pirouette after my neighbour repaired my car. "One good turn deserves another".
Should I diet? There's food for thought.
I have a friend who through ill health was advised to only do light work. He now repairs Neon signs.
"That's enough groaning for now".
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- Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:58 am
- Location: more remote than Nobby's world
Re: Boom Boom
That must have been a Two Ronnie's 'News' item!Anon E Mouse wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:16 pmA court case happened recently with 2 lads accused of stealing Car Batteries and Fireworks.
After hearing all the evidence the Judge charged one and let the other one off.![]()
I’m here all week....or at least I hope I am![]()