Boom Boom

Post Reply
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 7:33 am

I love my electric razor...

It's the best thing since sliced beard.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 7:34 am

I think those large, semi-aquatic mammals with big mouths who wallow around in the mud all day long are stupid and ugly.

Or am I just being hippo critical?

80fc
Posts: 189
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by 80fc » Thu Aug 06, 2020 12:41 pm

The flatfish angling competition starts in a minute, better get my skates on

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 1:14 pm

My Spanish bodybuilder friend told me he's run out of protein powder...

I thought “no whey Jose’!”

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 3:48 pm

Got caught stealing a leg of lamb from the supermarket.

The security said, "What are you doing with that?"

I replied, "Potaoes, peas and gravy !

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 3:49 pm

My friend texted me to say I'm very condescending.

To be honest I'm surprised he can spell it ....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 5:17 pm

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.
I thought.

'Well this changes everything!!!'

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 5:36 pm

I'm playing Scrabble with Midge Ure.
I've got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me.

O V N R

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 5:46 pm

I was at the swimming baths and decided to have a sneaky pee in the deep end. The life guard must have noticed, he blew his whistle so loud, I nearly fell in.

Fuggletim
Posts: 383
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Aug 06, 2020 6:15 pm

Wearing face masks can lead you to develop new talents! For example, you can become a ventriloquist without worrying if people can see your lips move!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 6:50 pm

I’m experimenting on rodents who practice an unconventional lifestyle by playing them Queen records very loudly.

It’s a Bohemian rat study.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 6:52 pm

A man takes his wife to a disco, there's a man on the dance floor, moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works.
Wife turns to her husband & sighs "You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him & I said no!"
Husband says "It looks like he’s still out celebrating!"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 6:52 pm

Every time you talk to your wife, remember that...

'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose'

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 6:53 pm

Doctor: "I’ve got 2 pieces of bad news. 1st, you only have 24hrs to live."

Patient: " What’s the 2nd piece ? "

Doctor: "I should have called you yesterday!"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 06, 2020 6:55 pm

Last night I went to a bar and the most crazy thing happened. A girl got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On an unrelated subject...I really suck at darts.


Post Reply