Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Aug 07, 2020 9:52 pm

I’ve been ripped off.
Hired a Carpenter and paid cash upfront to make me a double bed and he’s done a bunk.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Aug 07, 2020 9:54 pm

Visited the birthplace of the man who invented the toothbrush...

There’s no plaque.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 8:29 am

My wife was so nervous about meeting new people on our cruise.
I said "Don't worry, we are all in the same boat"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 8:31 am

Summertime Tip #23.
Sunburn relief use cold cream and spam.
The cream cools the skin and the spam keeps the sheets off your legs.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 8:34 am

My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked which one I wanted.

I said I'd take either/oar.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 10:56 am

What’s the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist ?
The literalist takes things literally and the kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 10:58 am

Thought for the Day.
‘Propaganda’ is what cockneys do when they really look at something.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:38 pm

There are so many scams on the internet these days. Just send me £19.95 and i’ll tell you how to avoid them.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:42 pm

Breaking News :-
Man charged with using sandpaper to kill Victim.
Accused was interviewed and said ‘I didn’t mean to kill him I was just trying to rough him up a bit’.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 4:53 pm

BREAKING:a man and a woman had a fight at the beach today, in front of lots of children!

A bystander said: If that wasn't bad enough, a policeman showed up and started hitting them with a baton

Next thing, a crocodile ran off with the sausages

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 4:53 pm

I’ve half a mind to go into politics, and I’m told that’s all you need.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 08, 2020 4:56 pm

My grandad was a fantastic golfer.

His dying wish was to be buried under our local shop.

He's now 6 under Spar.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 11:30 am

Breaking News.
The photo lab down the road looks like it's going into administration.
No further developments!!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 11:34 am

A fish has just been convicted of murder.

He is now on Death Roe.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2065
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 11:35 am

I was in the shoe shop and I said to the assistant, ‘It’s too tight’.
She said, ‘Try it with the tongue out.’

I said, ‘It’th nho ghood, it’th thtill thoo thigh!’


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