Boom Boom

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shots1965
Posts: 558
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shots1965 » Mon Aug 10, 2020 5:13 pm

An old man goes to the barbershop for a shave.  He tells the barber, "My cheeks are so sunken in that I can't get a good shave, can you help me out?"  The barber gives him a ball from a cup and says, "Put this in your mouth against your cheeks to puff 'em out, and I can give you a good shave."  So he does.  After the shave, the old man said, "Gee, that's a good shave, I haven't had one like this in years!  By the way, what would have happened if I had swallowed that ball?"  The barber replied, "Oh, that's okay!  You can bring it back in two days like everyone else does!"


Say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart, just so everyone takes a big whiff!



A husband is watching a video and begins to yell at the screen.  "Don't do it!  I swear you'll regret it for the rest of your life!  You stupid idiot!  Don't say yes!  No!  No!  NOOOOO!!!"  His wife hearing him from the other room asks, "Honey, why are you so mad?  What are you watching?"  He replies, "Our wedding video."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 10, 2020 5:20 pm

Do you think Dracula spends all day online shopping and keep clicking the ‘Your Account’ button.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 10, 2020 5:21 pm

Saw a Vampire Spring race the other day.
Finished neck and neck.

SHOTSMAN68
Posts: 182
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 5:43 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by SHOTSMAN68 » Mon Aug 10, 2020 7:16 pm

A boom boom joke for dr jim royal
I think i remember you being a fan of carol kirkwood and wondered if it was you whos been dogging in greenwich park with her she said it was a slip of the tongue

SHOTSMAN68
Posts: 182
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 5:43 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by SHOTSMAN68 » Mon Aug 10, 2020 7:28 pm

I think it was the doctor or it could have been bill b it was at that time when one of them was wearing skinny tight jeans with a vibrating phone in there trouser pocket im pretty sure it was the doctor seems more his style to have been in greenwich park

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 512
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Mon Aug 10, 2020 8:19 pm

My character seems to be a little under the cosh from certain quarters, dogging in Greenwich ............. Carol Kirkwood ........ slip of tongues ..........

I may have certain feelings for the nations weather girl but really .............. you think I'd stoop that low (Greenwich).

Chobham Common on the other hand !!!!

Can we please resume this thread to BOOM please .............. The jokes are getting better ............. soooooooooooo cringeworthy now :lol:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 7:33 am

Dr Jim Royle wrote:
Mon Aug 10, 2020 8:19 pm
My character seems to be a little under the cosh from certain quarters, dogging in Greenwich ............. Carol Kirkwood ........ slip of tongues ..........

I may have certain feelings for the nations weather girl but really .............. you think I'd stoop that low (Greenwich).

Chobham Common on the other hand !!!!

Can we please resume this thread to BOOM please .............. The jokes are getting better ............. soooooooooooo cringeworthy now :lol:
Your wish is my command.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 7:35 am

Doctor: "How's the patient doing, the one who swallowed all the 20p coins?"

Nurse: "No change yet."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 7:36 am

I just sold all my glove puppets.

A collector phoned and offered me £200 to take them off my hands...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 7:44 am

"Daddy, what's a transvestite?"

"Ask your mother, he'll tell you!"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 7:45 am

I went to the doctor's about my hearing.

He said describe the symptoms .

I said Homer is fat and bald, Marge has blue hair , and they have 3 kids.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 8:57 am

My wife said "Why does everything have to be a game with you?"
"An excellent question " . "But next time, please use the buzzer!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 8:58 am

I've just fell down the stairs carrying some paint tins.
It's ok im not hurt just a little emulsional!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 4:46 pm

I message to the person who stole all my anti depressants " I hope you're happy now"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2676
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 11, 2020 4:47 pm

My son asked me what “inexplicable” means.

I said “it’s hard to explain.”


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