Boom Boom

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 190
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:44 pm

I quit my job today at the Helium Factory. I didn't like the way my boss spoke to me in that tone.
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I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'.... you probably saw our posters.
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Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 372
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:15 pm

Dr Jim Royle wrote:
Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:44 pm
I quit my job today at the Helium Factory. I didn't like the way my boss spoke to me in that tone.
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I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'.... you probably saw our posters.
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Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me.
Ah DR J, if we are going down the Tim Vine route I will open the flood gates. 😄. Saying that if we are having 3 months of this + then they need to be drip fed.

Exit Signs are on the way out.

Velcro. What a rip off.

Kidderminster Shots
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:44 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Kidderminster Shots » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:35 pm

Bloke rings up work and says... "I can't come in today, I'm sick."

And his boss says... "Well how sick are ya?"

And the fella says... "Well I'm in bed with me sister..."

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 190
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:54 pm

I have recently come clean about my addiction to Tupperware, it was so hard keeping a lid on it.
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There I was minding my own business whilst out on a country walk when I came across a Farmer. He said to me, I've got 68 sheep in that field over there, can you round them up for me?
Sure I said, no problem, call it 70.
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I've just had my application to join The Origami Open University Course today rejected. I'm just not sure what to make of it.
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Been invited to The Premature Ejaculation Society Annual Dinner Dance tonight. I asked them what the dress code is. They said just come in your pants.
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I thank you all !!

lowerbourneshot
Posts: 90
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2011 7:29 pm
Location: The Ex Legion now Lower Bourne Social Club
Re: Boom Boom

Post by lowerbourneshot » Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:12 pm

Did you hear about the magic tractor?..........It turned into a field.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 372
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:34 am

"I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah and I thought: 'He’s trying to pull a fast one.'"

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 190
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:42 am

After seven years of medical training and hard work, my very good friend has been struck off after ONE minor discretion and I think it is outrageous.

He slept with just one of his patients and now can no longer work in his profession that he dearly loves. What a waste of time, training and money.

A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant Vet.

hepcat
Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2013 4:50 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by hepcat » Wed Mar 25, 2020 12:07 pm

Dr Jim Royle wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:42 am
After seven years of medical training and hard work, my very good friend has been struck off after ONE minor discretion and I think it is outrageous.

He slept with just one of his patients and now can no longer work in his profession that he dearly loves. What a waste of time, training and money.

A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant Vet.
My friends a retired gynaecologist . He still works part time as he likes to keep his hand in.

Lazio
Posts: 216
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:42 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Lazio » Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:49 pm

Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid 19 Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer 14.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 372
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:11 pm

"I saw this advert in a window that said: 'Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.' I thought, 'I can’t turn that down.'"

baldershot
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:27 pm
Location: Solihull
Re: Boom Boom

Post by baldershot » Thu Mar 26, 2020 7:54 am

Doctor, I'm worried. I keep randomly shouting "broccoli" and "cauliflower" - I think I've got florets.

shotshammo
Posts: 68
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:26 am

Lazio, my wife and daughter liked that one. I thought it was a bit childish.

shotshammo
Posts: 68
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:29 am

I now realise that one of the essentials of being an Aldershot Football Supporter, is having a weird sense of humour.
Keep up the good work.

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 190
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Thu Mar 26, 2020 9:38 am

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
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I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I sh*t you knot.
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My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
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I'm here all week :shock:

hepcat
Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2013 4:50 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by hepcat » Thu Mar 26, 2020 10:39 am

I went to my local the other night, and when I opened the door there was this Black guy at the bar , a Pakistani playing pool , a Jew on the fruit machine and a couple of gays sharing a packet of crisps and an Irishman supping a Guiness...…. what a marvellous example of an integrated community.


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