Boom Boom

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80fc
Posts: 214
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by 80fc » Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:01 pm

Just to wind the missus up I swap the wrappers on her chocolates. It really annoys her. Yesterday she got her Snickers in a Twix

80fc
Posts: 214
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by 80fc » Wed Sep 16, 2020 5:10 pm

My local cafe has started selling golf equipment. I bought two tees and a sand wedge

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 6:58 pm

The clocks go back soon which is a worry as I've forgotten where I got mine from

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:01 pm

Teacher - Name something beginning with E that you aren't very good at ?
Child- Spelling.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:03 pm

Never date a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:05 pm

Hedgehogs – why can't they just share the hedge?

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:07 pm

“Johnny, if you eat any more lollies I'll hide the lolly jar because your tummy will blow up like a balloon and go pop!" Said his mum. The next day at church, he is sitting next to a pregnant woman. Points to her belly smiling and says, "I know what you've been doing!"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:07 pm

Never ask a starfish for directions...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:08 pm

What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?

Bernadette.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:10 pm

Went to see my mate yesterday , his wife said hes in the back mowing the grass .
He was just stood there, leaning on his mower sobbing like a child .
I said "whats up mate are you ok?"
He replied "yeh I'll be fine I'm just going through a rough patch ".

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:11 pm

I built an electric fence around my property yesterday,

My neighbour is dead against it!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:12 pm

Just knocked over my Sports Direct mug and flooded my entire house.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:12 pm

I called the paranoia helpline... They wanted to know where I got their number from.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 16, 2020 7:13 pm

If anyone needs any advice on toilet seats, feel free to give me a call...I’ve read lots of books on them...

Calling the shots
Posts: 82
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:46 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Calling the shots » Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:48 pm

*Phone rings*
*Picks up phone*
"Who's speaking please?"
"You are"


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