Boom Boom

Shots1954 · Post by **Shots1954** » Mon Nov 16, 2020 9:20 am

Last week I replaced every window in my house.

I realised this morning I had a crack in my glasses!

Shots1954 · Post by **Shots1954** » Mon Nov 16, 2020 9:21 am

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their tournament victories.

After an hour, the manager came out and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."......

Shots1954 · Post by **Shots1954** » Mon Nov 16, 2020 9:24 am

It's really annoying the way people come around when I'm trying to work.

To be honest, it's ruined my career as an anaesthetist!

Fuggletim · Post by **Fuggletim** » Mon Nov 16, 2020 12:59 pm

I was playing Chess a few days ago when my partner asked: “Shall we make this more interesting?”

I agreed and put “Match of the Day” on...

WTF · Post by **WTF** » Mon Nov 16, 2020 7:33 pm

I woke up this morning and felt very peckish so decided to reach over and eat my bedside alarm clock. took me ages to eat it...very time consuming.

WTF · Post by **WTF** » Mon Nov 16, 2020 8:31 pm

Fuming!

Just been into Sainsbury’s and it was nuts, yet again they had no toilet paper at all.
Reluctantly I headed to the checkout and ask if they had any more and they said firmly “NO” almost to the point of being rude !!!!
Walking back to the toilet with my trousers and pants around my ankles was a walk I never want to have to do again!

WTF · Post by **WTF** » Mon Nov 16, 2020 8:33 pm

The self-depreciation society is taking applications for new members

I've already put myself down.......

WTF · Post by **WTF** » Mon Nov 16, 2020 9:05 pm

I know Henry VIII had 6 wives - There was Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Catherine Parr but, for the life of me, I can’t remember the surname of the one called Jane....See More

Shots1954 · Post by **Shots1954** » Thu Nov 19, 2020 11:55 am

Why dont eggs tell each other jokes?
They crack each other up!

Shots1954 · Post by **Shots1954** » Thu Nov 19, 2020 11:57 am

Who's mentioned in every episode of coronation Street but has never made an on screen appearance?

Willy Eckerslike.......

Shots1954 · Post by **Shots1954** » Thu Nov 19, 2020 11:57 am

Can anyone give a rough idea of how much a ballpark would cost?

WTF · Post by **WTF** » Thu Nov 19, 2020 5:03 pm

For future reference, exactly how much is umpteen?

WTF · Post by **WTF** » Thu Nov 19, 2020 5:06 pm

Watching Star Trek with my mate.
I think they made half of this up. He said.
Oh, which half ??

WTF · Post by **WTF** » Thu Nov 19, 2020 5:07 pm

What make of car is often mentioned in westerns but never seen? Audi.......

WTF · Post by **WTF** » Thu Nov 19, 2020 5:40 pm

The worst pub I’ve ever been in is called The Fiddle
It’s a vile inn.......

ShotsWeb

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