Boom Boom

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Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Nov 26, 2020 10:23 am

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between a cooking pot and his best friend?

They're both cauldron.......

Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Nov 26, 2020 10:23 am

My house was void of everything, so I bought a load of rubbish.
That filled the vacuum.........

Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Nov 26, 2020 10:24 am

I wasn’t certain that my best friend was stealing from the roadworks depot.

But when I went round his house all the signs were there!

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Thu Nov 26, 2020 5:07 pm

I've just bought my girlfriend some lovely perfume for Christmas

It's called 'Tester' hope she likes it 🎄

Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Fri Nov 27, 2020 6:23 pm

When Geese talk to each other is what they say true, or just properganda?

Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Fri Nov 27, 2020 6:24 pm

I saw Ron & Russel Mael in the departure lounge at the airport.

I thought oh oh sparks are going to fly.......

Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Fri Nov 27, 2020 6:26 pm

My mate plays in a brass band.

He thinks he's the greatest musician!

He's always blowing his own trumpet.......

Fuggletim
Posts: 522
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Nov 28, 2020 7:32 pm

I went to a post lockdown wedding! Even the cake was in tiers!

Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Nov 28, 2020 8:32 pm

Every week I send a letter to my friend who's an Italian chef.

We're penne pals.....

Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Nov 28, 2020 8:34 pm

Did you hear about the crab who went to a nightclub ? He pulled a muscle (mussel) ........

Shots1954
Posts: 631
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Nov 28, 2020 8:53 pm

How many tickles does an octopus like?
Ten tickles........

Fuggletim
Posts: 522
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Nov 28, 2020 10:40 pm

I worked as a waiter in a Beefeater once. On my first day the Manager asked me to clear a table. It was a good 100 x yard run, but I did it!

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:04 am

Why do they make a packet containing scissors so difficult to get into that you need scissors to open it !!

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:05 am

To get to the Hotel California do I take the stairway to heaven or the highway to hell?

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 29, 2020 10:05 am

I took my dog to the vets the other day.

The vet picked him up, looked at him and said, "He's got a dodgy eye, a wonky leg and his tail wags up and down, I'm afraid I'm going to have to put him down."

I said "Why, is it serious?"

He said, "No, he's too heavy."........


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