Boom Boom

[Shots1954]

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between a cooking pot and his best friend?

They're both cauldron.......

[Shots1954]

My house was void of everything, so I bought a load of rubbish.
That filled the vacuum.........

[Shots1954]

I wasn’t certain that my best friend was stealing from the roadworks depot.

But when I went round his house all the signs were there!

[WTF]

I've just bought my girlfriend some lovely perfume for Christmas

It's called 'Tester' hope she likes it

[Shots1954]

When Geese talk to each other is what they say true, or just properganda?

[Shots1954]

I saw Ron & Russel Mael in the departure lounge at the airport.

I thought oh oh sparks are going to fly.......

[Shots1954]

My mate plays in a brass band.

He thinks he's the greatest musician!

He's always blowing his own trumpet.......

[Fuggletim]

I went to a post lockdown wedding! Even the cake was in tiers!

[Shots1954]

Every week I send a letter to my friend who's an Italian chef.

We're penne pals.....

[Shots1954]

Did you hear about the crab who went to a nightclub ? He pulled a muscle (mussel) ........

[Shots1954]

How many tickles does an octopus like?
Ten tickles........

[Fuggletim]

I worked as a waiter in a Beefeater once. On my first day the Manager asked me to clear a table. It was a good 100 x yard run, but I did it!

[WTF]

Why do they make a packet containing scissors so difficult to get into that you need scissors to open it !!

[WTF]

To get to the Hotel California do I take the stairway to heaven or the highway to hell?

[WTF]

I took my dog to the vets the other day.

The vet picked him up, looked at him and said, "He's got a dodgy eye, a wonky leg and his tail wags up and down, I'm afraid I'm going to have to put him down."

I said "Why, is it serious?"

He said, "No, he's too heavy."........