Boom Boom

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Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 244
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Tue May 12, 2020 10:47 am

Englishman: "That your dog?"

Welshman: "Aye"

Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?'

Welshman: "Dogs don't talk.”

Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doing all right."

Welshman: (look of shock)

Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)

Dog: "Yep."

Englishman: How's he treating you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play."

Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!)

Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Welshman: "Horse don't talk.”

Englishman: "Hey horse how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)

Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman)

Horse: "Yep."

Englishman: "How's he treating you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather."

Welshman: (Look of total amazement!)

Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?

Welshman: "That sheep's a fu••ing liar!!” 👀🤔

😩😩😩😭😭😭

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue May 12, 2020 11:54 am

My wife keeps telling me I have no sense of direction

So I packed my bags and right

shots1965
Posts: 245
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shots1965 » Tue May 12, 2020 2:00 pm

I Asked my North Korean friend, what life was like there, he said I can’t complain

shots1965
Posts: 245
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shots1965 » Tue May 12, 2020 2:05 pm

I refused to believe my my roadwork father was stealing from the job
But when I got home all the signs were there

Birdman
Posts: 536
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:47 am
Location: Aldershot
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Birdman » Tue May 12, 2020 2:09 pm

shots1965 wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 2:05 pm
I refused to believe my my roadwork father was stealing from the job
But when I got home all the signs were there
One of Mousey’s from a good few pages back I believe. Either that or you’re copying the BBC by doing repeats. :wink: :D

shotshammo
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Tue May 12, 2020 3:59 pm

Roughly speaking, one out of two ain't too bad BillB. :lol:

I've caught a cold so many times, no one can accuse me of being clumsy.

Being a well rounded person is no excuse for over eating.

Bald but feel like pulling your hair out, how frustrating is that.

Discipline, avoiding things you don't want to do.

Being a good cook takes Thyme.

What all Politicians should say on retiring. "I've made a lot of poor decisions in my life, but resigning is the correct one."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue May 12, 2020 4:38 pm

I recently held up a coconut shell to my ear and all I could hear was a one legged horse standing very still.

shots1965
Posts: 245
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shots1965 » Tue May 12, 2020 4:47 pm

Birdman wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 2:09 pm
shots1965 wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 2:05 pm
I refused to believe my my roadwork father was stealing from the job
But when I got home all the signs were there
One of Mousey’s from a good few pages back I believe. Either that or you’re copying the BBC by doing repeats. :wink: :D
I apologise Mr mouse… At least my jokes are funnier than yours

shots1965
Posts: 245
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shots1965 » Tue May 12, 2020 4:52 pm

As the cannibal said to his friend,While he was eating a clown”This taste funny”

hepcat
Posts: 79
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2013 4:50 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by hepcat » Tue May 12, 2020 6:38 pm

Here's a joke a mate of mine told to everyone he met. It wasn't great the first time and deteriorated after 40 or 50 outings;
"Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for Christmas . He says it's the best book he's ever read"

SHOTSMAN68
Posts: 117
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 5:43 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by SHOTSMAN68 » Tue May 12, 2020 7:54 pm

is that the ballycashel echo asks mick
how much would it be to put an ad in your paper
five pounds an inch a woman replies, why what are you selling
a ten foot ladder mick replies before slamming the phone down

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue May 12, 2020 10:50 pm

A small kangaroo walks into a bar.

Barman says 'Wallaby' ?

shotshammo
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Wed May 13, 2020 8:33 am

Football's a bit like going to the butchers. Meat and greet, the butchering comes afterwards.

Crowthorne
Posts: 141
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2019 1:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Crowthorne » Wed May 13, 2020 9:17 am

From today sports involving only members of the same family can take place, Ipswich v Norwich will kick off at 8pm tonight.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 631
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed May 13, 2020 9:28 pm

Crowthorne wrote:
Wed May 13, 2020 9:17 am
From today sports involving only members of the same family can take place, Ipswich v Norwich will kick off at 8pm tonight.
:lol: :lol:


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