Boom Boom

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Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon Dec 28, 2020 10:00 am

I bought a pair of tortoise skin shoes the other week, it took me four hours to walk out of the shop!....

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon Dec 28, 2020 10:03 am

Two parrots are sat on a perch. One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

WTF
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Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Dec 29, 2020 10:50 am

Where do penguins go to the toilet

WTF
Posts: 632
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Dec 29, 2020 10:51 am

What shoots along the washing line at 90 mph?

Hondapants.

WTF
Posts: 632
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Dec 29, 2020 10:52 am

Just completed a 500pc jigsaw puzzle, took me 3 years.
I am very chuffed as it states 6y+ on the box!

WTF
Posts: 632
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Dec 29, 2020 10:53 am

As we are doing regional accent jokes...

Noddy Holder from the brummie band Slade is being a proper pop star and shopping in a trendy clothes boutique. He tries on a pair of gold lame loon pants, and he's admiring them in the mirror when the assistant asks if he'd like to try on a silver shirt too, which he does, and he looks fantastic too.
The outfit's really taking shape. Then the assistant asks "would sir like a kipper tie?"
Noddy replies "Not 'alf, I'm parched. Milk and two sugars, please."

WTF
Posts: 632
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Dec 29, 2020 10:54 am

I wondered what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I have asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they don’t know either...

WTF
Posts: 632
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Dec 29, 2020 12:25 pm

Many years ago I had a car that used to turn on a sixpence........!

Just bought a nice new car.......what do I turn it on now....?

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Dec 31, 2020 5:09 pm

Does anyone have any canaries going cheap?

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Dec 31, 2020 5:10 pm

This slow cooker is crap.Only just having my Christmas dinner!........

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Dec 31, 2020 5:11 pm

A policeman pulled Barmy Albert over on New Year’s Eve. He curtly informed him: "You've got no tax or insurance, furthermore, your front nearside tyre is completely flat, you've got a can of lager in your hand and to compound an already unfortunate farrago, you are not wearing a seatbelt!" Albert replied: "I'll see you tomorrow then...." "What's that supposed to mean?" asked the copper. Albert sez: "Hang on a minute, officer, I'm on the phone."

Fuggletim
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Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Dec 31, 2020 6:33 pm

BREAKING NEWS! The new 50p coin to celebrate Brexit has been delayed. Apparentley there is disagreement on what the borders should look like....

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Fri Jan 01, 2021 10:45 am

Bet most of you not had a shower since last year!!

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Fri Jan 01, 2021 10:46 am

I was going to sue the airline for losing my luggage, but I lost my case!

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Fri Jan 01, 2021 10:47 am

I wrote a book. Publisher said I must edit it. I thought it said eat it. Tasted not very novel.....


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