Boom Boom
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- Posts: 649
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom
I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.
I'm now in hospital, waiting to be seen...
I'm now in hospital, waiting to be seen...
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- Posts: 649
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom
What is it with people that won’t embrace modern technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
Answers on a postcard please.
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- Posts: 529
- Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
- Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom
I don't think I am pessimistic, but if there was a competition to find out, I would probably come last.
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- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
Can't believe I got sacked on my very first day as a signwirter!
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- Posts: 632
- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
Why do elephants paint their toenails Pink? So they can hide in a cherry tree without being seen.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No?
Shows It works, then!
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No?
Shows It works, then!
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- Posts: 632
- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
My new sweater was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
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- Posts: 632
- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner, so I took the battery out of the smoke alarm. 

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- Posts: 632
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Re: Boom Boom
Why is it that when someone says ‘phenomenon’
I always feel like singing a Muppets song?
I always feel like singing a Muppets song?
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- Posts: 529
- Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
- Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom
My Aunt died today at 11:15. It was strange, but her old Grandfather Clock stopped at exactly the same time. I wonder if that was because it fell on her at that time?
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- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
Derek asked the parachute shop owner, "What will happen if it doesn't open?" He said, "Bring it back with the receipt and we will refund you."
What a decent bloke, you can't argue with that.
What a decent bloke, you can't argue with that.
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- Posts: 649
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom
I got the sack from the ice cream factory because I refused to work on a sundae!
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- Posts: 649
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom
Lighting strikes in the same place
Yes it does my dad was struck by lightning twice
You want to know how he felt afterwards?
Well shocked!
Yes it does my dad was struck by lightning twice
You want to know how he felt afterwards?
Well shocked!
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- Posts: 632
- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
Can anyone remember the chiropractor joke I put on here about a week back?
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- Posts: 173
- Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 10:49 pm
- Location: Somerset
Re: Boom Boom
A woman is on a winter walk and passes a farm where she sees a distraught farmer surveying a field full of cows all frozen stiff. The woman rushes over, dramatically waves her arms in the air and every cow immediately defrosts.
“Wow, thank you! Are you a magician?” asks the farmer.
“No, I’m Thora Hird”.
“Wow, thank you! Are you a magician?” asks the farmer.
“No, I’m Thora Hird”.
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- Posts: 632
- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
When I get older I’d like to become a plumber.... pipe dream!