Boom Boom
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- Posts: 752
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Re: Boom Boom
My mate Dave’s probationary employment period at the local pharmacy ended yesterday when a customer came up to him and said "I've got a blocked nose, a sore throat and my head feels like it's going to explode. Have you got anything?"
Apparently he shouldn't have said "No mate, I feel fine"
Apparently he shouldn't have said "No mate, I feel fine"
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- Posts: 752
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Re: Boom Boom
"Why do you never pay full attention to anything I say?" Asked the wife.
"I do," I replied, "I'm just trying to think of something to post on Twitter."
"Something to Tweet?" She asked.
"That would be great!" I replied, "I'll have a bacon sandwich."
"I do," I replied, "I'm just trying to think of something to post on Twitter."
"Something to Tweet?" She asked.
"That would be great!" I replied, "I'll have a bacon sandwich."
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- Posts: 752
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom
After a traffic Warden's funeral, the coffin was being lowered into the grave and a knocking was heard from inside it.Then a voice called out, 'I'm alive! '
The priest replied, 'Sorry my son but the paperwork has been completed! '
The priest replied, 'Sorry my son but the paperwork has been completed! '
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Re: Boom Boom
The new Flintstones movie has been released across the middle east to mixed reviews. The audiences in Dubai don't like it very much but those in Abu Dhabi Doo.
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Re: Boom Boom
During lockdown,I’ve been making yachts up in my loft..sales are through the roof!
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Re: Boom Boom
Just heard that the local prosthetics shop is changing hands...
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- Posts: 752
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom
I bought a really expensive laxative from the pharmacy.
It gave me a good run for my money.
It gave me a good run for my money.
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- Posts: 629
- Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
- Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom
My father couldn't stop drawing during the war, he got hit with a Doodlebug
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- Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
- Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom
I have always been surprised how they get film crews to work on James Bond films considering a cameraman always gets shot in the opening sequence....
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- Posts: 629
- Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
- Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom
Do you ever get half way through eating a horse and think "Do you know what I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was"
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- Posts: 592
- Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
- Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom
I told my new girlfriend that I had a company vehicle which costs £500k and I travel a lot on company expenses!
I don't know why she got so disappointed when she found I worked as a bus driver for Stagecoach.......
Note: This joke is based on a mate of mine some 40 x years ago boasting he had a Mercedes Coupe! He did; it was a 207d Van!
I don't know why she got so disappointed when she found I worked as a bus driver for Stagecoach.......
Note: This joke is based on a mate of mine some 40 x years ago boasting he had a Mercedes Coupe! He did; it was a 207d Van!
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- Posts: 592
- Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
- Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom
Following Brexit, how much space is freed up on a EU laptop? 1 x GB!
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- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
My granddaughter Eva came up to me and said” Make a noise like a frog , Granddad.”
So I said “Why on Earth do you want me to do that?”
She replied “ Daddy told me that when you croak we are all going to Disneyland!”
So I said “Why on Earth do you want me to do that?”
She replied “ Daddy told me that when you croak we are all going to Disneyland!”
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Re: Boom Boom
I’m looking for a pun concerning carpentry.
Does anyone know one that woodwork?
Does anyone know one that woodwork?
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- Posts: 705
- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom
I heard if you push the accelerator and brake pedal at the same time your car takes a screenshot.
Is this true?
Is this true?