Boom Boom

[WTF]

I'm having the locks changed at home so i thought I'd write a song about it, there's a key change at the end.

[Fuggletim]

I decided to leave work early today as it's Friday! Not sure why the passengers on my plane got so freaked out when I put my parachute on!

[Richard Petty]

Its just been announced that Cher is joining the Spice Girls, she is going to be called "Old Spice"

[Richard Petty]

A friend of mine recently had his credit card stolen, he hasn't reported it though as the thief is spending less on it than his wife did

[Fuggletim]

Reports are coming in of a Black Forest Gateaux, a Raspberry Pavlova and a Blackcurrant Cheesecake on the rampage in Aldershot. Police say not to worry as the streets are desserted........

[Old Bob]

Its just been announced that Cher is joining the Spice Girls, she is going to be called "Old Spice"

I'd rather have (C)her than any of the others

[Shots1954]

What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.

That was the first joke I ever heard, when I was aged about 6!

[Richard Petty]

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes ?

Re-Morse code.

[Richard Petty]

Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime.

[Fuggletim]

An empty beer bottle walks into a bar and says to the barman "Fill me up with your strongest ale please?"

The barman refuses and says "Sorry you are clearly drunk already!"

[Dr Jim Royle]

Ou local Landlord shouted at William Shakespeare to get out of his boozer.

He said “you’re Baird “

[Anon E Mouse]

Went for a job at a Blacksmiths.
He said "Are you any good at shoeing horses?"
I said: "No but I told a donkey to sod off once!"

[Anon E Mouse]

I just got an email saying I've won a free bungee jump no strings attached

[Anon E Mouse]

I used to work in the packing department of a large butter manufacturers...but I was always losing my temper with my co workers.
The company are sending me on an Anchor Management Course.

[Bob]

What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.

That was the first joke I ever heard, when I was aged about 6!

Blimey they did jokes 100 years ago