Boom Boom

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Richard Petty
Posts: 617
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Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Feb 15, 2021 5:20 pm

I'm not saying my mates baby was ugly but his wife only started getting morning sickness after it was born

Richard Petty
Posts: 617
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Feb 15, 2021 5:24 pm

A man went to his doctor and said "I want to have a vasectomy"
"That' a big decision" said the doctor, "have you discussed it with your family"
"Yes" replied the man, "they are in favour 15 to 2"

HarryTom
Posts: 166
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Mon Feb 15, 2021 5:33 pm

Richard Petty wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 5:24 pm
A man went to his doctor and said "I want to have a vasectomy"
"That' a big decision" said the doctor, "have you discussed it with your family"
"Yes" replied the man, "they are in favour 15 to 2"
This one made me laugh Richard :lol:

Old Bob
Posts: 568
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:23 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Old Bob » Mon Feb 15, 2021 5:36 pm

Bob wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:29 pm
Old Bob wrote:
Wed Feb 10, 2021 9:52 pm
Shots1954 wrote:
Tue Feb 09, 2021 10:21 am
What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.
That was the first joke I ever heard, when I was aged about 6!
Blimey they did jokes 100 years ago 😊
:lol:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3537
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Feb 15, 2021 6:10 pm

I’m thinking of starting up a new business recycling discarded chewing gum.

I just need some help getting it off the ground...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3537
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Feb 15, 2021 6:11 pm

I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground...

We went from Barking to Tooting in half an hour.

Fuggletim
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Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Feb 15, 2021 10:06 pm

I was also on the Tube the other day when another passenger asked me how to get to Upminster via Barking?

I pointed to his map and said "Woof, woof!"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3537
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Feb 16, 2021 9:38 am

I had pancakes at Meatloaf’s house once but they tasted really awful.

Like a batter out of hell...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3537
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Feb 16, 2021 9:39 am

Is it just me or have pancakes not tasted the same since Jif changed to Cif

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3537
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Feb 16, 2021 9:40 am

Last year I had to steal something to stir my pancake batter with...

But it was a whisk I was willing to take.

Richard Petty
Posts: 617
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Feb 17, 2021 12:59 pm

Lets try and lift the mood a little


What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there any such thing as a dog.

Richard Petty
Posts: 617
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:02 pm

If you want to find out who loves you more your wife or your dog, stick them both in the boot of your car for an hour.
When you open the boot, see who is the happiest to see you?
Last edited by Richard Petty on Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Richard Petty
Posts: 617
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:05 pm

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Birdman
Posts: 1560
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:47 am
Location: Aldershot
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Birdman » Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:07 pm

Richard Petty wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:02 pm
If you want to find out who loves you more your wife or your dog, stick them both in the boot of your car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, see who is the happiest to see you?
‘Boot, trunk’? Make yer mind up, Richard.

Richard Petty
Posts: 617
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:33 pm

Birdman wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:07 pm
Richard Petty wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:02 pm
If you want to find out who loves you more your wife or your dog, stick them both in the boot of your car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, see who is the happiest to see you?
‘Boot, trunk’? Make yer mind up, Richard.
It was an American joke, I translated the first line but forgot about the second line :oops:

At least I didn't call the car an automobile :lol:


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