Boom Boom

Post Reply
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3539
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Feb 17, 2021 8:03 pm

What do you call a dog in a submarine?

A subwoofer.

Fuggletim
Posts: 591
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Wed Feb 17, 2021 8:04 pm

It's a little known fact that Charles Dickens originally published "A Tale of Two Cities" in 2 x different newspapers.

They were "The Bicester Times" and "The Worcester Times."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3539
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Feb 17, 2021 8:13 pm

When one door closes, another one opens...

That's when you realise that you've bought a really bad second hand car!

Old Bob
Posts: 568
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:23 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Old Bob » Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:14 pm

Fuggletim wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 10:06 pm
I was also on the Tube the other day when another passenger asked me how to get to Upminster via Barking?

I pointed to his map and said "Woof, woof!"
Just don't try to make a Piccadilly Line joke about Cockfosters, Tim :lol:

Old Bob
Posts: 568
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:23 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Old Bob » Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:19 pm

Old Bob wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:14 pm
Fuggletim wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 10:06 pm
I was also on the Tube the other day when another passenger asked me how to get to Upminster via Barking?

I pointed to his map and said "Woof, woof!"
Just don't try to make a Piccadilly Line joke about Cockfosters, Tim :lol:
And then there was the chicken farmer travelling on the train with a couple of his birds when the ticket inspector came through. Needing both hands free to get his ticket from his pocket, he turned to the lady in the seat next to him and politely asked: "Excuse me, madam, would please take my cock and pullet?"

Fuggletim
Posts: 591
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:32 pm

Old Bob wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:14 pm
Fuggletim wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 10:06 pm
I was also on the Tube the other day when another passenger asked me how to get to Upminster via Barking?

I pointed to his map and said "Woof, woof!"
Just don't try to make a Piccadilly Line joke about Cockfosters, Tim :lol:
Wasn't going to, but as you mention it, there was the old Paul Hogan joke from a TV advert where he was asked by a foreign tourist about "How do you get to Cockfosters?" to which the reply was:

"Serve it warm mate!" 😆

Old Bob
Posts: 568
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:23 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Old Bob » Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:34 pm

Fuggletim wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 8:04 pm
It's a little known fact that Charles Dickens originally published "A Tale of Two Cities" in 2 x different newspapers.

They were "The Bicester Times" and "The Worcester Times."
Charles Dickens was doing so well with his writing until he came up with that silly theory of evolution.

Old Bob
Posts: 568
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:23 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Old Bob » Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:35 pm

Fuggletim wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:32 pm
Old Bob wrote:
Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:14 pm
Fuggletim wrote:
Mon Feb 15, 2021 10:06 pm
I was also on the Tube the other day when another passenger asked me how to get to Upminster via Barking?

I pointed to his map and said "Woof, woof!"
Just don't try to make a Piccadilly Line joke about Cockfosters, Tim :lol:
Wasn't going to, but as you mention it, there was the old Paul Hogan joke from a TV advert where he was asked by a foreign tourist about "How do you get to Cockfosters?" to which the reply was:

"Serve it warm mate!" 😆
That wasn't the one I had in mind :lol:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3539
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Feb 17, 2021 10:03 pm

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius
But his brother Frank was a monster

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3539
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Feb 18, 2021 8:25 am

I've finally taught my dog to fetch a glass of red wine.

He’s a Bordeaux Collie

And yes, he paws it himself...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3539
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Feb 18, 2021 5:38 pm

Doctors have said that to cure my dyslexia I need an Injection in my penis.

Or was it my spine?

Fuggletim
Posts: 591
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Feb 18, 2021 8:42 pm

Heard that the local theatre cancelled their Pantomime, Snow White. There is a shortage of dwarfs apparently.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3539
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Feb 20, 2021 10:57 am

The man who invented ‘cats eyes’ got the idea when he saw the eyes of a cat reflected in his headlights.

If the cat had been going the other way, he would have invented the pencil sharpener...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3539
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Feb 20, 2021 10:58 am

I once bought an Elvis record at the market called ‘Wooden Leg’.

I said to the man ‘I thought it was called ‘Wooden Heart’ ?’

He said ‘Yes, but this is a pirate copy...’

Fuggletim
Posts: 591
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Feb 20, 2021 2:10 pm

I went to Halford today to see if they had any books on how to fix the automatic transmission on my Ford. They said they only had manuals unfortunately.....


Post Reply