Boom Boom

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Fuggletim
Posts: 592
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Feb 22, 2021 6:37 pm

I asked my daughter if she could get me my newspaper from the kitchen. She told me that newspapers were so 20th Century and I should start using IT.

Although I killed the fly, I don't think the iPad will work again.

bordon shot
Posts: 340
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:13 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by bordon shot » Tue Feb 23, 2021 11:11 pm

Just back from the doctors. "What's wrong", she said,
I have a problem with pain down below I said,
"Well drop your pants" she said, she had a good old feel of my privates and then said "There's nothing wrong there",
I said I know i think,I've got an ingrowing toenail".

Fuggletim
Posts: 592
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Tue Feb 23, 2021 11:26 pm

I found a mole a while back. It wasn't looking too good, and after a week it was starting to look worse and was a bit odorous. A week later on, it had shrivelled, but had started looking quite crusty. As such I thought I had better get it looked at.

The Vet told me that he thought it had been dead for about 2 x weeks by the time I took it there.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3612
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Feb 24, 2021 2:45 pm

This morning I stood naked looking in the Mirror and I thought to myself;

"Any moment now I'm going to get kicked out of this newsagents..."

Richard Petty
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Feb 24, 2021 3:05 pm

The thing I don't like about Shopping centres is that when you've seen one you've seen a mall

Richard Petty
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Feb 24, 2021 3:14 pm

I got stopped in the street by a group of robed men chanting who said they worshiped healthy bacteria, I told them "Sorry I am not interested in Yakult

Richard Petty
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:12 pm

Not a joke as such but very funny and this seemed the best thread for it

Simon Evans On Football - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up7L0xvR45o&t=45s

Richard Petty
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:18 pm

Two blokes standing at a bar talking and one says to the other "I got a poodle for my wife the other day" and the other bloke says "I wish I could make an exchange like that".

Fuggletim
Posts: 592
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Feb 25, 2021 7:12 pm

I was thinking about killing off a few characters in the book I am writing. It will be an interesting autobiography I think!

Richard Petty
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Feb 26, 2021 1:49 pm

I popped into B&Q this morning and bought a tin of Fly Spray, when I got to the checkout I asked the assistant "Is this any good for Wasps". "No" he replied, "it kills them"

Richard Petty
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Feb 26, 2021 1:53 pm

6 Months ago my doctor told me I was going deaf, I haven't heard from him since

Richard Petty
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat Feb 27, 2021 11:05 am

I went to the zoo the other day. There was only a dog in it - it was a shihtzu.

Richard Petty
Posts: 629
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat Feb 27, 2021 11:11 am

I went to the doctor the other day and asked him if he could recommend anything for wind, he suggested a kite.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3612
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Feb 27, 2021 12:38 pm

Had my Covid 19 vaccine yesterday and was quite surprised when the nurse jabbed me in the leg instead of the arm.
Phizer killing me this morning.
Last edited by Anon E Mouse on Sat Feb 27, 2021 6:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3612
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Feb 27, 2021 6:25 pm

I just opened my fridge and it really smells of basil...

I think it’s faulty.


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