Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1514
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Jun 19, 2020 11:08 pm

My mate has just bet me £50 that I can't do an impression of a butterfly.

That's got to be worth a little flutter!!

shotshammo
Posts: 183
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Sat Jun 20, 2020 8:51 am

My dogs very sociable, he loves meat and greet.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1514
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Jun 20, 2020 9:03 am

I take great care when putting ketchup on my dinner.

All my food is responsibly sauced

shotshammo
Posts: 183
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Sat Jun 20, 2020 9:34 am

I got the hump when my wife cooked me some rump, she said let's get to the bottom of this complaint.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1514
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Jun 20, 2020 10:35 am

I went to the hospital today to get a mole checked out.

Apparently they all look like that and I should've left it in the garden !

bordon shot
Posts: 156
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:13 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by bordon shot » Sat Jun 20, 2020 11:18 am

Apologies if this has been put on previously

A gorgeous nymphomaniac boarded a plane...

A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.

"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ..."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."
"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1514
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Jun 20, 2020 11:09 pm

I was so drunk last night.
When i got to the bottom of the stairs, I took off my shoes, coat, t-shirt, trousers, underwear and crept upstairs very quietly....
It was only when i got to the top of the stairs , I realized I was on a bus!!!

BillB
Posts: 215
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2007 1:04 pm
Location: Herne Bay, Kent
Re: Boom Boom

Post by BillB » Sun Jun 21, 2020 7:07 am

No face mask either........

Turnkey
Posts: 178
Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:06 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Turnkey » Sun Jun 21, 2020 8:44 am

You can’t run through a campsite, you can only ran. Because its past tents.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1514
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Jun 21, 2020 8:44 am

I broke one of my fingers at work today.

On the other hand, everything is OK.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1514
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Jun 21, 2020 9:57 am

I played Bonopoly last night.

It's like Monopoly but where the streets have no name.

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 345
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Sun Jun 21, 2020 2:30 pm

On this special day for us Dad's, I told my wife I wanted pampering, a hot bath filled with milk.

She said, pasteurised?

I said, no, only up to my neck / shoulders .

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1514
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Jun 21, 2020 3:07 pm

My dad always used to say, “Always be up front with everyone.”

A great man! ..............

terrible goalkeeper.

Fuggletim
Posts: 308
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun Jun 21, 2020 7:08 pm

I was on holiday last year and I took a couple of polls. People weren't happy, I can tell you when their tents collapsed!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1514
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:12 pm

I answered the door this morning.

A 6ft beetle punched me in the face and called me fat.

Apparently there's a nasty bug going round!


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