Boom Boom
Re: Boom Boom
I got asked out by a blind woman but I told her I was already seeing someone.
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- Posts: 3626
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Re: Boom Boom
My pet mouse Elvis died today.
He was caught in a trap.
He was caught in a trap.
Re: Boom Boom
I woke up one day on a desert island. As I awoke, I saw that the sky was purple. I sat up and looked around, and the beach, the palm trees, the mountains were all purple. I looked out to sea, and the water was purple. Then it dawned on me...
I'd been marooned...
I'd been marooned...
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Re: Boom Boom
Marooned ? I’ll have a pint of aleShot By Both Sides wrote: ↑Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:44 amI woke up one day on a desert island. As I awoke, I saw that the sky was purple. I sat up and looked around, and the beach, the palm trees, the mountains were all purple. I looked out to sea, and the water was purple. Then it dawned on me...
I'd been marooned...

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Re: Boom Boom
I used to wear shoes made from pasta but threw them away so that I could reduce my carbonara footprint.
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Re: Boom Boom
My wife has been mad at me for 3 weeks now because I didn’t open the car door and help her mother out.
I told her I’m sorry but I just panicked and swam for the surface!
I told her I’m sorry but I just panicked and swam for the surface!
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Re: Boom Boom
My wife has a weird ocd where she has to arrange our plates in order of how much they cost. It’s a rare dish order.
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Re: Boom Boom
A man goes to a fancy dress party with a naked woman on his back. "What have you come as ?" the host asks. "I'm a turtle ..... and this is Michelle"
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- Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom
Scientists have discovered that cats cannot transmit Covid19 to Humans. A "Spokesfeline" said "But we would if we could."

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Re: Boom Boom
A waitress screamed "Does anyone know CPR?"
I shouted "Hell, I know the whole alphabet"
Everyone laughed..
Well everyone except this one guy
I shouted "Hell, I know the whole alphabet"
Everyone laughed..
Well everyone except this one guy
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- Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
- Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom
Met this nice girl who works at the fish counter at Sainsbury's. She has just invited me round to her plaice...
Re: Boom Boom
I refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
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- Location: Aldershot
Re: Boom Boom
MOUSEY ...., is ‘e nickin’ yer jokes?Shot By Both Sides wrote: ↑Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:12 amI refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
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Re: Boom Boom
BREAKING NEWS
There was an accident on the M1 this morning involving a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, finally a red lorry and then a yellow lorry.
A Police spokesperson said the the press 'There is no easy way of to say this ............. '
There was an accident on the M1 this morning involving a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, finally a red lorry and then a yellow lorry.
A Police spokesperson said the the press 'There is no easy way of to say this ............. '
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Re: Boom Boom
Dr Jim Royle wrote: ↑Wed Jul 01, 2020 8:23 amBREAKING NEWS
There was an accident on the M1 this morning involving a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, finally a red lorry and then a yellow lorry.
A Police spokesperson said to the the press 'There is no easy way of to say this ............. '