Boom Boom

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baldershot
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:27 pm
Location: Solihull
Re: Boom Boom

Post by baldershot » Wed Jul 01, 2020 9:59 am

I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts

Shot By Both Sides
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shot By Both Sides » Wed Jul 01, 2020 10:44 am

Birdman wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 7:59 am
Shot By Both Sides wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:12 am
I refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
MOUSEY ...., is ‘e nickin’ yer jokes?
I'm copying them off another board. While I'm here...

I once knew a guy who had been unfortunate to have been born with five penises. His underpants fitted him like a glove.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:50 pm

Birdman wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 7:59 am
Shot By Both Sides wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:12 am
I refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
MOUSEY ...., is ‘e nickin’ yer jokes?
It’s a free country. To be fair I’ve nicked many of mine. I’m quite an entertaining character but not 43 pages entertaining :lol:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:55 pm

For our silver wedding anniversary I gave my wife a map of the world and a dart. I said that wherever the dart landed that’s where we would go.
I’m able to announce that in August we will be spending 2 weeks by the bloody skirting board !! :oops:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:01 pm

My boss said that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture.

I have a hunch it could be me.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:03 pm

My new business ‘Cooking with Herbs’ is in trouble. They have had to call in the Bayleafs.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:04 pm

Q-What is the longest sentence in the English Language ?
A-I do.

Birdman
Posts: 837
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:47 am
Location: Aldershot
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Birdman » Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:05 pm

Over the last couple of weeks or so we’ve been ‘yellowing’ the steps in the North Stand. So that people don’t misjudge the edge of each step and risk falling, they’ve been painted black.
A fine example in my opinion of when black lines matter.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:08 pm

The Mrs has just come into the living room dressed in a little PVC number and stockings and handed me a cold beer and told me to relax and then when she comes back she will give me ‘What she does best’.

I can’t wait.

I flipping love Shepherd’s pie.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:08 pm

Birdman wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:05 pm
Over the last couple of weeks or so we’ve been ‘yellowing’ the steps in the North Stand. So that people don’t misjudge the edge of each step and risk falling, they’ve been painted black.
A fine example in my opinion of when black lines matter.
Too soon Birdy. Too soon.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:09 pm

I said to the baker, How come all your cakes are £1 and that one's £2 ?

He said, That's Madeira cake

redandbluescb
Posts: 486
Joined: Sat May 19, 2018 9:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by redandbluescb » Wed Jul 01, 2020 2:10 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:09 pm
I said to the baker, How come all your cakes are £1 and that one's £2 ?

He said, That's Madeira cake
I cant believe 1 person knows so many jokes
you should work for a christmas cracker company :lol:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1488
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jul 01, 2020 6:16 pm

Just got banned from B&Q, some idiot in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!..
Luckily I got the first punch in.

Shot By Both Sides
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shot By Both Sides » Wed Jul 01, 2020 6:25 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:50 pm
Birdman wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 7:59 am
Shot By Both Sides wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:12 am
I refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
MOUSEY ...., is ‘e nickin’ yer jokes?
It’s a free country. To be fair I’ve nicked many of mine. I’m quite an entertaining character but not 43 pages entertaining :lol:
Saved us saying it. . 👍 🤣

i just tried to change my password to - hi-hat

computer replies saying password cannot contain any symbols

Shot By Both Sides
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shot By Both Sides » Wed Jul 01, 2020 6:32 pm

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey...

But - I've turned myself around...
And that's what it's all about


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