Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:04 pm

The invisible man and the invisible woman got married and started a family.
Unfortunately their kids aren’t much to look at.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:06 pm

After the tragic death of the Human Cannonball a spokesperson from the circus said they will struggle to get another man of the same calibre.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:09 pm

I wore one of my car tyres out today. I’m not doing it again - it’s too heavy and I looked stupid.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 8:36 am

The government is expected to announce that from July 4th, Norwich City players will be permitted to visit other teams penalty areas for short periods, providing they pose no threat to the opposition.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:10 pm

I'm really fed up, I've waited in for three days for the doorbell engineer!!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:11 pm

I was in the pub doing a crossword with my Glaswegian mate, I said "I'm stuck on this one, eight letters, beginning with M, stuck on a deserted island."

He replied "Marooned"

"Oh, Cheer's mate, I'll have a pint of Ale "!!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:15 pm

I can’t remember how to write, 1,1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals.

IM LIVID

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:18 pm

I never used to like Billy Ocean ...Then Suddenly!!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:21 pm

I just read that an oil company has worked out a way of making fuel from insect urine.
I think it’s BP.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 1:56 pm

Safety meeting at work..

They asked me "What steps would you take in event of a fire?"

"Really big ones" was apparently not the right answer.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 2:02 pm

The government in Egypt have instructed the cities Taxi Drivers in Cairo to drive around the city sounding their car horns. It’s hoped that a return to familiar city sounds will help restore calm following the pandemic.
Operation ‘Toot n Calm em’ will last for a week.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 5:34 pm

I can't find my "Gone in 60 seconds" DVD.

Strange, it was here a minute ago !

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 25, 2020 10:58 pm

I ordered 4 Kindles on Amazon and for some reason they sent me a 2 Ronnies DVD ?

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Jun 26, 2020 8:45 am

Man: How much is your lager?

Barman: £2 a pint and £7 a pitcher

Man: I'll just have a pint, i’ll leave the photo!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2807
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Jun 26, 2020 8:45 am

Went on a date with a girl from the Stock Exchange.

I knew it was going well when she started playing FTSE with me under the table!


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