Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Jul 12, 2020 4:03 pm

I finished with my ex girlfriend because of her obsession with counting...

I wonder what she's up to now!
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Jul 12, 2020 10:58 pm

I bought a rocket salad last week.

Unfortunately it went off before I could eat it.
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Jul 13, 2020 12:11 pm

A few years ago I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.

It was a flop.
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Jul 13, 2020 12:12 pm

Magician - "I can make anything disappear."

Tom - "Go on then, make my tea disappear."

Magician - "Abracadabra"

om - "Nothing happened"!!
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Jul 13, 2020 10:15 pm

I came out of Asda this morning and there was a woman crying her eyes out, She'd lost all her holiday money I felt so sorry for her I gave her £50. I don't usually do that kind of thing but I'd just found £2000 in the carpark.
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Jul 13, 2020 10:16 pm

Another one from a friend. :D

What do you a call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce - Chicken sees a salad.
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Jul 14, 2020 8:25 am

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself.

I really need to wash some mugs!
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Jul 14, 2020 12:41 pm

Chinese food to go £13.45, taxi home £5, realizing they forgot one of your containers, Riceless !!!
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Calling the shots
Posts: 82
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:46 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Calling the shots » Tue Jul 14, 2020 1:02 pm

The Lord said to John,

"Come forth and you will receive eternal life"

John came fifth and got a certificate.
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Calling the shots
Posts: 82
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:46 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Calling the shots » Tue Jul 14, 2020 1:04 pm

You can't trust atoms. They make up everything
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Calling the shots
Posts: 82
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:46 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Calling the shots » Tue Jul 14, 2020 1:05 pm

I'll tell you what is often overlooked.

Garden fences.
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Jul 14, 2020 1:25 pm

I'm out bird watching with Sinead O'Connor.
So far, it's been seven owls and fifteen jays.
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shots1965
Posts: 685
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shots1965 » Tue Jul 14, 2020 2:20 pm

A skull walks into a bar
A pint of beer please Barman..
I’m sorry sir,I can’t serve you, you’re out of your head
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Ian M
Posts: 105
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:09 am
Location: 5 miles from Chepstow, Monmouthshire
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Ian M » Tue Jul 14, 2020 2:41 pm

Is that a a bit like...

A pair of glasses walks into a bar and says,

A pint of beer please Barman..

I’m sorry sir,I can’t serve you, you’re off your face!
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 3204
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:18 pm

Ian M wrote: ↑
Tue Jul 14, 2020 2:41 pm
 Is that a a bit like...

A pair of glasses walks into a bar and says,

A pint of beer please Barman..

I’m sorry sir,I can’t serve you, you’re off your face!
Shouldn’t you be taking Photo’s of our new signings on your 1 day off. ??
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