Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 11:37 am

My girlfriend said she wanted to walk down the Aisle so I sent her to Asda for a case of beer

80fc
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by 80fc » Sun Aug 09, 2020 11:48 am

Got my navy entrance exam results back today, I got seven "C"s

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 12:35 pm

Tip of the Day :-
Don’t ever let Sean Connery teach your dog to sit.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 12:47 pm

I said to my mate “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

He asked “Come again?”

I said “Yep, that’s it...”

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 2:10 pm

Remember the singer Yazz?

She now works as an elevator attendant.

She’s not very good at it...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 4:57 pm

I'm sure my mate Dave is having an affair with my wife...

He's been a miserable git lately!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 4:57 pm

No matter how kind you are...

German children are always Kinder!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 09, 2020 11:25 pm

I’m determined to find out who has stolen my collection of retro Italian sports clothes.

I’m going to put out some Filas...

80fc
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by 80fc » Mon Aug 10, 2020 8:09 am

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Sun Aug 09, 2020 11:25 pm
I’m determined to find out who has stolen my collection of retro Italian sports clothes.

I’m going to put out some Filas...
I pasta bloke down the pub selling some....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 10, 2020 8:39 am

I saw a man walking down the road with a sign under his arm that read, "& Emergency".

"Where did you get that from?" I asked.

He said “I found it by Accident."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 10, 2020 8:40 am

I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said “Lobster tails £1”.

I gave the man the money and he said “Once upon a time there was a lobster...”

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 10, 2020 11:36 am

A weasel walks into a bar and the barman says "I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get ya?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 10, 2020 11:37 am

Struggling to get your wife or girlfriends attention ?
Just sit down and look comfortable.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 10, 2020 11:39 am

I hate it when people try to act all intellectual and talk about Mozart while they’ve never seen one of his paintings.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2677
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 10, 2020 11:43 am

A bloke took 2 stuffed dogs to the antiques roadshow. ‘Ohh’ said the presenter. ‘They are a very rare breed’. ‘Have you any idea what they would fetch if they weren’t in good condition’ ?
‘Sticks’ replied the bloke.


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