Boom Boom

[Shots1954]

I am looking to buy a lighthouse.

Nothing flashy!

[Shots1954]

When I was a boy, my favorite teacher was Miss Turtle.
Funny name but she tortoise well.

[Shots1954]

There is no good reason for abbreviation to be such a long word

[Shots1954]

My dog just ate 7 scrabble tiles - the vet gave him an x-ray and said the next time he has a bowel movement it could spell trouble.......

[Shots1954]

Sat watching the rugby. The game was invented when, during a football match, William Webb Ellis picked up the ball and ran with it. Afterwards he asked the referee if he'd scored a goal. 'No' came the reply, 'but it was a good try'

[Fuggletim]

I went out for dinner once with the World Chess Champion. It was great, but because we had a checked tablecloth it took him 5 x hours to pass over the gravy boat!

[WTF]

A woman carrying a dog sits down on an airplane next to a man with a saw. She says “this is my emotional support animal, what’s that?”
He says, “it’s my coping saw.”

[WTF]

I took on an apprentice as a clock repairer. He didn't last 5 minutes, due to being too slow and dreadful time keeping!

[WTF]

The toilet has been stolen from the local police station. The police say they have nothing to go on....

[WTF]

I bought a Christmas sign from Amazon but I only got 3 letters I Cannot find the fourth letter it’s not in the packaging NOE are the only letters I received !!!!

[WTF]

What’s it like working as a lift operator?

Oh, It has its ups and downs.......

[WTF]

My boss said to me "why do you come out in a rash when I give you your wages?"

I said "it's because I'm allergic to peanuts!"

[WTF]

I've just changed my washing powder......

It was a Bold move!

[WTF]

Following my success building a boat in my attic, I am looking into building a plane in the cellar, I wonder if it will take off?

[WTF]

Did you know that Davy Crocket had a birth defect. He had 3 ears.
A left ear. A right ear and a wild front ear.......