Boom Boom

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WTF
Posts: 770
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 22, 2020 11:24 am

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well dressed man on a bike

A tire........

WTF
Posts: 770
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 22, 2020 11:25 am

I had to change my dentist.... The old one was so depressing - always looked down in the mouth.......

Fuggletim
Posts: 665
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun Nov 22, 2020 11:35 am

I caught a train to Farnham the other day and walked from the platform across the level crossing with my colleague. I mentioned that you could always tell when a train had passed by.

He said "How?"

I said it leaves its tracks......

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 2:02 pm

How would a spy know he has run out of invisible ink?

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 2:04 pm

A dad is washing his car with his son son asks why not use a sponge instead.......?

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 2:04 pm

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.........

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 2:07 pm

Man goes into the doctor says "I keep thinking i'm Tom Jones" doctor says..... "Thats not unusual"........

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 2:11 pm

My mate said "When you were younger did you like George Best?"

I replied "No I preferred Zippy."

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:00 pm

My local garage has just sacked their apprentice.
He kept putting petrol in the oil sump.

What a dipstick!

Chalkie
Posts: 105
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Location: Church Crookham
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Chalkie » Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:07 pm

They say a woman's work is never done.

Probably the reason why men get paid more.

WTF
Posts: 770
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:51 pm

What note do you get if you throw a piano down a coalmine?

A flat minor!.......

Fuggletim
Posts: 665
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun Nov 22, 2020 10:11 pm

I'll never forget what my ex said to me when we parted! She said I'd never find anyone like her!

My thoughts exactly.......

Shots1954
Posts: 821
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon Nov 23, 2020 9:06 pm

My mate says he can tighten wheel nuts using only his bum cheeks, personally I think he torques out of his back side........

WTF
Posts: 770
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Nov 24, 2020 7:34 pm

I've decided to start a magazine dedicated to ice cream,

I've just had my first scoop!

WTF
Posts: 770
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Nov 24, 2020 7:35 pm

During our last session, I coloured in the very top of my therapists arm.

I really needed a shoulder to crayon.......


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