Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Anon E Mouse]

What's the different between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.

Chick Peas can hummus one.

[Chalkie]

The wife is absolutely fuming.
Someone has stolen a pair of her pants off the washing line.
She's not bothered about the knickers, she just wants the 12 pegs back.

[Alfie]

Man walks into Doctors Surgery.

Doc - I have a cricket ball stuck up my backside.

How's that ?

Dont you start !

[Fuggletim]

I was going to sponsor someone in the London Marathon, but I just knew they would take the money and run….

[Anon E Mouse]

I missed the World Hairdressing Championships on TV last night .

Does anyone know if they’re showing highlights?

[Fuggletim]

I went to a faith healing meeting last night. It was so bad even the bloke in the wheelchair got up and walked out……

[Fuggletim]

Setting up a local “Anarchist” group later that day was even worse! Nobody could agree with the rules of its constitution……

[Anon E Mouse]

Typical!
No one turned up at Camouflage Club.
Again!

[South Coast Shot]

What's the different between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.

Chick Peas can hummus one.

Have you heard about a new band called The Preventions?
I'm told they're better than The Cure.

[Anon E Mouse]

I once dated a one-legged girl who worked in a brewery.

She was in charge of the hops.

[Fuggletim]

I was down the pub with the boys when my other half came in. She looked really angry and shouted “I think you have had enough and we are going home!”

I told her I wasn’t going anywhere and she told me she was talking to our children…..

[Graham Stovold]

A male patient is lying in bed in hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a problematic four-hour surgical procedure.
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, sir.
I'm only here to wash your upper body.'
He struggles to ask again,
'Nurse, are my testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worrying about his testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other,
lifting and moving them around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure you,
there's nothing wrong with them, sir !!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask,
smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much.
That was wonderful but listen very, very closely.....
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?'

[Fuggletim]

I bought the Aldershot News today and noticed a classified advert. Don’t know what it was so secretive for……

[Anon E Mouse]

I'm convinced my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapons collection…

She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.

[Anon E Mouse]

Was going to make a joke about sodium....

But then I thought Na...