Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

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Fuggletim
Posts: 1402
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

When they finishing shooting TV commercials for Mexican food, does the director say “It’s a wrap!”
Chalkie
Posts: 285
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Chalkie »

HEATWAVE LATEST...
... Councils across the UK rejoice after melting roads begin to fill in their own potholes.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****....What a ride!"
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6750
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I'm going on a camping holiday but I'm not happy with my travel insurance.

Apparently, if my tent blows away during the night I'll no longer be covered...
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6750
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

My granddad always used to say;
"As one door closes, another one opens..."

Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
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Richard Petty
Posts: 3105
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Richard Petty »

My grandad was told by his doctor that he should take steps to improve his health

God knows what we are going to do with all the ladders in the garage that he has stolen
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6750
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

A friend of mine suggested horse manure on my strawberries. Not doing that again, I'm going back to cream.
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BillB
Posts: 435
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2007 1:04 pm
Location: Herne Bay, Kent
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by BillB »

Anon E Mouse wrote: Sun Jul 24, 2022 10:03 am A friend of mine suggested horse manure on my strawberries. Not doing that again, I'm going back to cream.
You should have tried pig manure it's a lot runnier
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6750
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

The Three Musketeers Football Club have had some good pre-season results…

4-1
4-1
4-1
4-1
4-1
4-1
4-4
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6750
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

Yesterday I changed a lightbulb, walked into a pub and crossed a road…

My whole life has become a joke…
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HarryTom
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Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by HarryTom »

Teacher say's to the class. i have a name here ,but i don't know how to pronounce it's.......Hijkm....A little girl puts her hand up and say's....... it's pronounced Noel
South Coast Shot
Posts: 375
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:20 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by South Coast Shot »

Well, I was going to tell a joke about sewing machines but I ran out of material.
I'm here all week. Or at least until I'm banned.
Fuggletim
Posts: 1402
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I visited Pompeii and decided I liked the T x Shirts of the Amphitheatre. I asked the vendor did he have XL? He said he had 3, but could order the other 37 in…
Graham Stovold
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2022 9:58 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Graham Stovold »

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large
Plastic rubbish bags behind her.
One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a £20 note falls out
Onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Madam, there
Are £20 notes falling out of your bag?'
'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little old lady. 'I'd better go back,
And see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me..'
'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that
Money?' 'You didn't steal it, did you?'
'Oh, no', says the little old lady. 'You see, my backyard is right
Next to the football stadium car park. On match days, a lot of fans
Come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand
Behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his
Thing through the fence, I say, "£20 or off it comes!"'
'Well, that seems only fair.' laughs the cop. 'OK? Good luck! Oh,
By the way, what's in the other bag?'
'Well, you know...', says the little old lady, 'Not everybody
Pays....!'
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6750
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

Graham Stovold wrote: Tue Jul 26, 2022 8:57 pm A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large
Plastic rubbish bags behind her.
One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a £20 note falls out
Onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Madam, there
Are £20 notes falling out of your bag?'
'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little old lady. 'I'd better go back,
And see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me..'
'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that
Money?' 'You didn't steal it, did you?'
'Oh, no', says the little old lady. 'You see, my backyard is right
Next to the football stadium car park. On match days, a lot of fans
Come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand
Behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his
Thing through the fence, I say, "£20 or off it comes!"'
'Well, that seems only fair.' laughs the cop. 'OK? Good luck! Oh,
By the way, what's in the other bag?'
'Well, you know...', says the little old lady, 'Not everybody
Pays....!'
Knob Gag. 🤣
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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6750
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I’ve just finished reading a book about a bank vault.

It was quite hard to get into.
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