Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

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Anon E Mouse
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

What's the different between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.

Chick Peas can hummus one.
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Chalkie
Posts: 285
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Chalkie »

The wife is absolutely fuming.
Someone has stolen a pair of her pants off the washing line.
She's not bothered about the knickers, she just wants the 12 pegs back.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****....What a ride!"
Alfie
Posts: 29
Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:55 pm
Location: Mytchett
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Alfie »

Man walks into Doctors Surgery.

Doc - I have a cricket ball stuck up my backside.

How's that ?

Dont you start !
Fuggletim
Posts: 1402
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I was going to sponsor someone in the London Marathon, but I just knew they would take the money and run….
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6755
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I missed the World Hairdressing Championships on TV last night .

Does anyone know if they’re showing highlights?
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Fuggletim
Posts: 1402
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I went to a faith healing meeting last night. It was so bad even the bloke in the wheelchair got up and walked out……
Fuggletim
Posts: 1402
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

Setting up a local “Anarchist” group later that day was even worse! Nobody could agree with the rules of its constitution……
Anon E Mouse
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

Typical!
No one turned up at Camouflage Club.
Again!
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South Coast Shot
Posts: 375
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:20 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by South Coast Shot »

Anon E Mouse wrote: Sat Jul 30, 2022 9:22 am What's the different between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.

Chick Peas can hummus one.
Have you heard about a new band called The Preventions?
I'm told they're better than The Cure.
I'm here all week. Or at least until I'm banned.
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6755
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I once dated a one-legged girl who worked in a brewery.

She was in charge of the hops.
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Fuggletim
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Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I was down the pub with the boys when my other half came in. She looked really angry and shouted “I think you have had enough and we are going home!”

I told her I wasn’t going anywhere and she told me she was talking to our children…..
Graham Stovold
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2022 9:58 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Graham Stovold »

A male patient is lying in bed in hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a problematic four-hour surgical procedure.
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, sir.
I'm only here to wash your upper body.'
He struggles to ask again,
'Nurse, are my testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worrying about his testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other,
lifting and moving them around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure you,
there's nothing wrong with them, sir !!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask,
smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much.
That was wonderful but listen very, very closely.....
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?'
Fuggletim
Posts: 1402
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I bought the Aldershot News today and noticed a classified advert. Don’t know what it was so secretive for……
Anon E Mouse
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I'm convinced my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapons collection…

She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.
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Anon E Mouse
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

Was going to make a joke about sodium....

But then I thought Na...
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