Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5069
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Oct 05, 2021 9:06 pm

My grandma always used to say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

I don't know if that's true or just one of granny's myths!

Fuggletim
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Wed Oct 06, 2021 9:49 am

Got a picture from a Hampshire Police Speed Camera through the post today! Really grainy and way too expensive, so I sent it back....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5069
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Oct 06, 2021 4:44 pm

I asked my wife if she'd like a diamond necklace for her birthday.

She said, "Nothing would make me happier."

So I got her nothing instead!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5069
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 07, 2021 12:12 pm

A driver had just ran out of petrol, when a bee flew in through his window and asked what was wrong. When the driver told it, the bee said I think I can help you. A few minutes later it returned with a swarm of bees, which went into the petrol tank. After they had all left, the bee said, turn the key. To the drivers surprise, the engine started. He said to the bee, what did they put in the tank? It replied BP.

Richard Petty
Posts: 1877
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:30 pm

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician…

You'll never hear the end of it!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1877
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:31 pm

I recently called the tinnitus helpline…

It just kept ringing!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1877
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:33 pm

For me the urge to start singing "The Lion sleeps tonight" is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

Richard Petty
Posts: 1877
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:59 pm

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue?" I said "No thanks, just a watch."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5069
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 07, 2021 2:25 pm

Richard Petty wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:59 pm
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue?" I said "No thanks, just a watch."
One of my favourites. Will be on here somewhere.

I think between us we may of told every joke there is to tell :-)

Richard Petty
Posts: 1877
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Oct 07, 2021 3:44 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 2:25 pm
Richard Petty wrote:
Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:59 pm
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue?" I said "No thanks, just a watch."
One of my favourites. Will be on here somewhere.

I think between us we may of told every joke there is to tell :-)
Yes it is getting a bit hard to find new material now, worth the effort though as this thread has kept people entertained even on the darkest days :D

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Oct 07, 2021 5:45 pm

Shop assistant: How about this one?
Psychic: That shirt is too small
Shop assistant: You didn't even try it on?
Psychic: I'm a medium

Fuggletim
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Oct 07, 2021 6:12 pm

Stamps! Don't you just hate them? Sit in the corner doing nothing, and still get to travel around the world!

Fuggletim
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Oct 07, 2021 9:58 pm

I turned my roast duck into a great soul singer! I just put it in the oven and waited until the bill withers...

WTF
Posts: 982
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Fri Oct 08, 2021 9:18 pm

We call it a lift. The Americans call it an elevator. I guess we’re just raised differently!

Fuggletim
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Fri Oct 08, 2021 10:16 pm

I was in M&S today and momentarily couldn't choose whether to buy red or blue underpants. It was only a brief moment though.....


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