Boom Boom

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Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 822
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Mon May 03, 2021 5:11 am

My Boss turned up for work today dressed as a Metronome, very strange.

Still, whatever makes you tick.

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 822
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Mon May 03, 2021 5:15 am

Jolly R Pet E, a Scarecrow based in Aldershot Family Farm has just won this years Nobel Prize.

Apparently he was outstanding in his field.

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 822
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Mon May 03, 2021 5:17 am

I'm livid, my Missus has just poured a whole tin of Ronseal Wood Stain all over my head.

To be honest, I'm really not happy at the way I'm being treated.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 9:46 am

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.

I'm now in hospital, waiting to be seen...

Shots1954
Posts: 842
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon May 03, 2021 1:24 pm

I used to be undecided, but I'm not so sure now!

Shots1954
Posts: 842
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon May 03, 2021 1:26 pm

I was offered a part in the James Bond films a few years ago. They wanted me to play his brother Brooke, but I turned it down because he was a tea leaf!

Fuggletim
Posts: 702
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon May 03, 2021 2:02 pm

I found a dog growing in my vegetable garden. Must be a Border Cauli........

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 3:26 pm

My wife is going to see a Beatles tribute act on the Isle of Wight.

She's got a ticket to Ryde.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 3:27 pm

If an ice cream van breaks down, do they have to put out cones?

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 3:28 pm

I thought I saw Van Morrison the other day, turned out I was looking in my rear-view mirror and it was a Morrisons Van...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 3:29 pm

I just saw Adam Ant buying an ice cream.

He asked for a standard vanilla.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 3:30 pm

Just saw Mick Hucknall in the snooker hall.

He missed a simple red...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 3:31 pm

I asked the vicar "Father, this is a really nice church, what period is it from?"

He said "It’s Norman."

I said "Sorry Norman, this is a really nice church, what period is it from?"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 3:32 pm

I had a terrible nightmare that I was trapped inside a snow globe!

I'm OK though, just feel a bit shaken up...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4166
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 03, 2021 3:34 pm

Very proud to have just finished my 7th marathon in 7 days!

Or 'Snickers', as they are now called...


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