Boom Boom

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Tiger131
Posts: 27
Joined: Fri May 08, 2015 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Tiger131 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 11:43 am

A penguin walks into a pub and asks the barman has my brother been in ? The barman says, don’t know mate what does he look like 🤣

shotshammo
Posts: 183
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Sun Mar 29, 2020 11:59 am

I've just bought some contact lenses, what a waste of money.

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Sun Mar 29, 2020 12:11 pm

Why did the scarecrow win an award?He was outstanding in his field.
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Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.That’s just how I roll.
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What's the best part about living in Switzerland?I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
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I DID WARN YOU LOT :!: :lol:

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 1:19 pm

I used to be undecided but im not so sure now!

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 1:23 pm

My Doctor told me I was obese!

I said I wanted a second opinion.

He said Okay you are ugly too!

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 1:27 pm

I said to my Doctor I'm beginning to forget things

He said how long have you had this condition?

I said what condition?

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 1:29 pm

I saw my Doctor and said I feel like a pair of curtains!

He told me to go home and pull myself together!

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 1:31 pm

Whenever I take my clothes off in the shower,

The shower always gets turned on!

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 1:33 pm

How do you know a good Police Detective dog?

He is the one with the good lead!

WTF
Posts: 982
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Mar 29, 2020 3:15 pm

Shots1954 wrote:
Sun Mar 29, 2020 1:29 pm
I saw my Doctor and said I feel like a pair of curtains!

He told me to go home and pull myself together!
Some of those jokes are quite funny 54! Even made my wife larf! Lol

shotshammo
Posts: 183
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Sun Mar 29, 2020 3:30 pm

Toreadors
Matadors
Picadors
Banderillos
They all have one thing in common
Bullshit
……………………………………………………….

No flies on me

Little fly upon the wall
Ain't you got no sense at all
Can't you see the walls just been plastered
Now you're stuck you silly bastard

Told to me by Tracy at work, who said she was a lover of good poetry.
She then asked me if she could read my Poems. Nuff said. :lol:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5066
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:51 pm

I'm not a competitive person… I'll be the first to admit it.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5066
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:51 pm

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Mar 29, 2020 5:46 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:51 pm
I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.
Love it! I did think of that one myself but didn't want to be saddled with it!😀

hepcat
Posts: 401
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2013 4:50 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by hepcat » Sun Mar 29, 2020 6:42 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Sun Mar 29, 2020 4:51 pm
I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.
I used to be a hessian bag maker ,but I got the sack


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