Boom Boom

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Chalkie
Posts: 129
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Chalkie » Sun Jul 04, 2021 1:39 pm

Went up to my allotment last weekend to find someone had dumped 2ft of soil all over it.
Went up today and found the same thing again.......
The plot thickens!

Fuggletim
Posts: 837
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun Jul 04, 2021 10:30 pm

George Orwell's "1984" is such a powerful book about state control, that everyone should be made to read it....

Fuggletim
Posts: 837
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Jul 05, 2021 4:50 pm

My neighbour's cat keeps on coming into my garden and using my flower borders as a toilet. My other half suggested I got my shovel and throw it back!

Cat poo is still there and I don't think my shovel will be getting returned any time soon....

Fuggletim
Posts: 837
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Tue Jul 06, 2021 10:20 pm

I bought a U2 Satnav for my car, but I don't think it's working correctly. I mean the streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!

Fuggletim
Posts: 837
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Jul 08, 2021 10:09 pm

I like watching Westerns, but I often wonder why cowboy architects never seem to make towns big enough for everyone?

Richard Petty
Posts: 1342
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Jul 09, 2021 12:32 pm

Fuggletim wrote:
Thu Jul 08, 2021 10:09 pm
I like watching Westerns, but I often wonder why cowboy architects never seem to make towns big enough for everyone?
Nearly all of the jokes on here are really good but every now and then for no particular reason one of the them just cracks me up for some reason and this was one of them :lol:

Richard Petty
Posts: 1342
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Jul 09, 2021 12:33 pm

The last time I played golf the only wood in the bag that I used properly was the pencil

Richard Petty
Posts: 1342
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Jul 09, 2021 12:37 pm

I've just had a bloke knock on my door asking me to sign the organ donor register…

I thought, there's a man after my own heart!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1342
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Jul 09, 2021 12:38 pm

I heard a noise during the night and when I came downstairs I saw a yoghurt floating right across my kitchen...

I think it might be some kind of paranormal activia!

Fuggletim
Posts: 837
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Fri Jul 09, 2021 5:45 pm

Glad you like the jokes Richard! 😄

Does anyone know the correct phone number "OK" magazine? Whenever I call the number I have they say "Hello"....

Fuggletim
Posts: 837
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Fri Jul 09, 2021 11:48 pm

A Buddhist friend recently gave me a "Nirvana" scented candle.

It smells like teen spirit......

Chalkie
Posts: 129
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Chalkie » Sat Jul 10, 2021 8:45 am

A woman opens the door in her nightie.
Strange place for a door.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4578
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Jul 10, 2021 9:41 am

My inflatable house got a puncture last night.

Now, I'm living in a flat.

Fuggletim
Posts: 837
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Jul 10, 2021 11:59 am

I was on a long flight when the bloke next to me started talking. During the conversation he showed me a picture of his wife saying: "Isn't she a stunner?"

I said "If you think she is a stunner, you need to see my wife!"

He said "Is she a stunner too?"

"No; she's an Optician."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4578
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Jul 11, 2021 10:35 am

I was watching the ‘Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra’ last night and halfway through the bloke on the triangle disappeared...


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