Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5073
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 05, 2021 12:02 pm

I was buying my wife some underwear, I asked the shop assistant;
“Are these knickers satin?"
"No” she said, “They’re brand new...”

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5073
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 05, 2021 4:11 pm

I decided to trace my pet frogs ancestry...

Turns out he's part Irish, part British, and a tad Pole!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1885
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Aug 05, 2021 6:40 pm

I can't stop eating Polos, Extra Strong Mints, Mentos and TicTacs...

I'm worried I'm going to end up in a menthol institution!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1885
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Aug 05, 2021 6:43 pm

Arguing with your wife is like reading the software licencing agreement...

In the end, you just ignore everything and click "I agree".

Richard Petty
Posts: 1885
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Aug 05, 2021 6:49 pm

I saw an RAC mechanic driving his van today.

He looked very stressed and I thought to myself, "He's heading for a breakdown!"

Fuggletim
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:03 pm

I gave some blood the other day, but instead of getting a biscuit afterwards, I was given a mini pitta bread, with sliced lamb and lettuce. They told me it was a donor kebab....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5073
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Aug 06, 2021 7:31 am

My wife has just left me due to my love of horse racing...

She's at the gate, and she's off!

Chalkie
Posts: 155
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Chalkie » Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:41 am

Swimmers told to evacuate Boscombe Beach after 'shark' spotted.

I did tell my mate it wasn't a very good idea for him to call his water loving dog "Shark"

Fuggletim
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Fri Aug 06, 2021 7:11 pm

I got a taxi the other day and noticed the driver had a lot of spots on his face. I then sussed this was an "Acne Carriage....."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5073
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Aug 07, 2021 12:13 pm

f(x)=2x1 walks into a bar

The barman says, 'Sorry, we don't cater for functions'.

Fuggletim
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun Aug 08, 2021 9:54 am

Went to Halfords today to see if they had any books about automatic gear box repairs. They apologised and said they only had manuals.

Shots1954
Posts: 982
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Aug 08, 2021 12:16 pm

Was out drinking with the Beach Boys last night - it was all going well til I asked who’s round is it..??

Fuggletim
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun Aug 08, 2021 10:39 pm

Whenever I use my iPhone I fall asleep! I must have downloaded a nap.....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5073
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 09, 2021 8:31 am

Shots1954 wrote:
Sun Aug 08, 2021 12:16 pm
Was out drinking with the Beach Boys last night - it was all going well til I asked who’s round is it..??
Joke told only 2 pages back :lol:

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5073
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 09, 2021 8:32 am

BREAKING NEWS!
Police are currently investigating a raid at Tiffany's in London.

The suspects were last seen running just as fast as they can...


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