Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

[Shots1954]

Harry Potter figures for sale. Final reduction. Quid each!

[Shots1954]

As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field…

But hay, it's in my jeans...

[Shots1954]

Every one in my street wears woolen jumpers that are a size too small...
We are a very tight knit community.

[Shots1954]

I've just had my bank statement through and I noticed that I've had payments go out for a water pistol, a pair of size 20 shoes, a trumpet and a red nose..
Phoned the bank and apparently my card's been clowned.....

[Shots1954]

I've got a 1999 Vauxhall Vectra with a full tank of petrol...

Looking to swap for a 4 bed detached house

[Shots1954]

I used to be in a band called 'White Lines'. We played mostly middle of the road.

[Shots1954]

I've just finished reading an excellent book called 'Fights on a Narrowboat' by R.G. Bargee

#WorldBookDay

[Shots1954]

I just opened my fridge and it really smells of basil...
I think it's faulty!

[Anon E Mouse]

Someone has glued my pack of cards together...

I don't know how to deal with it.

[Anon E Mouse]

Yesterday was awful!

First I got into fight with a man dressed as Shakespeare, then I almost choked on a German sausage.

It just went from bard to wurst.

[Anon E Mouse]

Someone has glued my pack of cards together...

I don't know how to deal with it.

I know I know, I need to be patience

[HarryTom]

I went to the local zoo and asked the keeper what was that Baguette doing in a cage, he said , ''not to worry, it was bread in captivity ""

[Fuggletim]

After many years working long hours at Sainsbury’s my other half told me she was leaving me. I asked would she like any help packing?

[Chalkie]

We were so skint as kids, my mother use to buy clothes from the Army and Navy stores.

I was the only Japanese General at school.

[Anon E Mouse]

My friend said he really didn’t understand human cloning.

I said, “That makes two of us...”