Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5064
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Jul 30, 2021 8:37 pm

I miss my ex-girlfriend, we split up over her constant habit of counting..

Wonder what she’s up to now..

Fuggletim
Posts: 964
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Fri Jul 30, 2021 11:41 pm

My laptop has been hacked again! I now have to re-name the cat for a seventh time.....

Fuggletim
Posts: 964
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Jul 31, 2021 1:35 pm

My SatNav problems continue! I had to go to West Surrey yesterday, but my other half asked me to get a bottle of" Vanish" for her. Unfortunately, the top on the bottle wasn't secure and I ended up spilling some of it on SatNav.

I just can't find Staines now......

Fuggletim
Posts: 964
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Aug 02, 2021 6:03 pm

I bought some food for my horse last week, but my horse didn't like it as it was poor quality.

I took it back to the equestrian centre, and to be fair the Manager listened to my complaint and took my feedback....

Richard Petty
Posts: 1869
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Aug 02, 2021 6:21 pm

I read that taking your bike to work everyday is good for the environment which I thought sounded a good idea

I I cant fit it in the boot so I am buying a roof rack to put it on

Richard Petty
Posts: 1869
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Aug 02, 2021 6:22 pm

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes…

It's all about raisin awareness!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1869
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Aug 02, 2021 6:24 pm

Just bought two Harry Potter brooms in Poundland…

Quid-each!

Fuggletim
Posts: 964
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Aug 02, 2021 7:49 pm

I bought a reflective jacket the other day. Unfortunately all it does is sit in the corner reading Aristotle.....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5064
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 03, 2021 7:45 am

For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.

Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5064
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 03, 2021 3:13 pm

I went to a ‘music themed’ fancy dress party as a harp.

The host said “You’re not a harp, your costume is too small!”

I said “Are you calling me a lyre?”

Chalkie
Posts: 151
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Chalkie » Tue Aug 03, 2021 10:38 pm

"Would you like anything on your chips?"

"Does it cost extra?"

"Ten pence."

"All right, I'll have four sausages and a steak pie."

Fuggletim
Posts: 964
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Tue Aug 03, 2021 10:53 pm

I bought some rocket salad in Sainsbury's the other day. Unfortunately it had gone off before I could eat it....

Shots1954
Posts: 981
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Wed Aug 04, 2021 2:31 pm

I was following an ambulance yesterday and noticed a silver box on the foot plate, the ambulance then turned left and the box fell on to the road. I stopped, jumped out and picked the box up. The ambulance carried on. The box came open and inside was a human toe packed in ice!

I called 999 and told them what had happened and asked if the ambulance would come back or should I take it straight to the hospital?

They said don't worry stay where you are, we will send a toe truck....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5064
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 05, 2021 7:39 am

I’m doing an online DJ set for a Devon & Cornwall radio station playing 60’s and 70’s hits.

I can’t decide whether to play The Jam or Cream first though...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5064
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Aug 05, 2021 8:04 am

I went for an audition at a talent agency today.
They asked "so what's your special talent?"
I said "I do bird impressions!" They said "sorry, that’s not original we have had loads of them!"
I said "fair enough!!"...
and flew out the window!


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